It Ain't Always Easy

Why do you spend money for what is not bread,

And your wages for what does not satisfy?

Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good,

And delight yourself in abundance.

Isaiah 55:2

I'm learning that what is good for me is often counterintuitive.  Doing what I feel like doing doesn't always satisfy, even though it may seem to hit the spot at the time.  Example: Yesterday I woke up and wanted nothing more than to just spend the day in bed being lazy.  It seemed so right to have a lazy Sunday afternoon indoors, out of the cold; especially since it is the last one I may have for a while, seeing as classes start on Wednesday.  So I did it.  I stayed in my pajamas all day and watched the entire second season of Arrested Development.  It was delightful... for a while.  Then all of a sudden I realized it was 9pm, I had been watching TV for 9 hours, had only exited the basement once, and hadn't been outside all day.  I had an overwhelming desire at that point to GET OUT.  But it was too late; it was dark and cold and there was nothing left to do outside.  I felt yucky.

I imagine some of you have had similar experiences.  I remember another time I indulged in an unlimited Dorito-eating spree.  I love Nacho Cheese Doritos; they are probably my favorite junk food snack.  But when I was done with my spree, I had that familiar feeling: yuck.  Coupled with the realization that what I had just eaten without restraint was nothing but crap.  My body was not happy.

I contrast this with the feeling I have when I am eating nutritious food and exercising.  I know it's a bit cliche, but my body truly is happy.  I feel good, energetic, confident.  The same is true when I incorporate disciplines into my life like journaling, thinking/reflecting, enjoying silence, and listening to God, rather than filling my time with TV, movies, brainless books, and the Internet.  My soul is happy when I do these things.  I feel balanced and healthy.  Those latter things are not inherently bad, but I think they are often substitutions for the things my spirit is really longing.  Money spent on what is not bread, wages on what does not satisfy.

So the dilemma arises: If what I feel like doing isn't necessarily what is good for me, if I can't trust myself to know what will truly satisfy, what do I do?  How do I decide on what to spend my wages?  There isn't a clear cut answer, but I think the verse in Isaiah provides direction: (1) "Listen carefully to Me."  I need to seek God, and obey even when what He is telling me may not be what I feel like doing, trusting that He knows what I need.  (2) "Eat what is good."  It doesn't take a genius to figure out that an apple is better for me than a bowl of Doritos.  To a large extent, I know what is healthy for my life, and I simply need to make good choices even if what I know will satisfy in the long-run isn't what I'm craving in the moment. 

Doing what is healthy isn't always easy.  Making the choice to run when I want to stay inside. Making the choice to put the box of Cheez-Its away when I want to eat the whole thing. Making the choice to spend time with God when Season 3 of Arrested Development is calling my name.  And certainly it's also part of being healthy to treat myself and indulge every once in a while.  But the truth is that even though what satisfies is often counterintuitive, a life spent eating what is good is one of fruitfulness.  And in that place I can truly "delight [my]self in abundance."