Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" (Matthew 14:29-30)
So Peter seeing him said to Jesus, "Lord, and what about this man?" Jesus said to him, "If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!" (John 21:21-22)
Lately, it's been easy for me to get distracted and begin to look at the lives of those around me and compare myself to them. I can become jealous of the way God seems to be allowing others to live, and the blessings He has given others that He hasn't given me. I can feel frustrated when I see people in my life going in a direction I also want to go, and yet it seems like God is saying, "No, Lisa," "Not yet, Lisa," or, "Not you, Lisa." These are feelings you deal with when friends around you have husbands, houses, steady jobs, dogs and babies; and you live in a basement, work as a nanny, and don't even own your own silverware. Sometimes it really doesn't seem fair!
When I look at others and say to Jesus, "What about that girl? Why doesn't my life look like that?" I become insecure, fearful, angry and impatient. When I, like Peter, take my eyes off Jesus and begin to look at what's going on around me, I start to lose faith and doubt God's goodness. My wandering eyes cause me to question God, and to try to take control to make my life look like the lives of those around me. Which, unsurprisingly, usually only results in disappointment and disaster. Jesus' response to me, when I begin to compare myself to others is, "What is that to you? You follow Me!"
Today I am reminded that my life is not my own to do with what I please. My life is in Jesus' hands, and I need to lock my eyes on His and follow. I have my own path, no one else's. I'm remembering that discipleship is about surrendering and submitting my will to God's will. I sang the song today: "Lord, you have my heart and I will search for Yours. Let me be to You a sacrifice."
And when I stop looking around me, stop asking the "What about this man?" questions, and start fixing my eyes on Jesus, I remember that my life is indeed rich. That I have never lacked adventure, fun, or purpose. And that God has always been good to me. I remember that He has always been and always will be trustworthy. His path for me is mine, and won't look like anyone else's. But I know when I follow, that's when I will really live.
The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me (Psalm 16:6).
5 comments:
I can't wait for you to come home. I've been thinking about and struggling with this same thing for a while now. Can't wait to talk, talk and talk some more with you. LY!
love these thoughts, I can totally relate sweet lisa. I love the pic too. Big hugs to you for christmas
YOu are so beautiful!! THank you for sharing your heart. Know that there are times when we are just as jealous of you!! you have so many adventures. You have such freedom and your futrue is full of possibilities! Love you so much! Ariane
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts LJ. You're are truly amazing. Know that you are not alone and that we all struggle. I know that God has great plans in store for your life. I admire you for continuing to seek him even in the craziness of life. I love you as do many others. Can't wait for you to get home!
I stumbled upon your blog while looking for somethings about adventure. Your post could be written any time and it would be applicable to any pilgrim who is on the king's highway. Keep writing. Thanks.
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